Nothing much going on here

Time for another rambling, pointless post.  Sorry.

I don’t know what to say so I’m just going to type…..

So I’m sat on my laptop listening to my kids argue over who gets to play as Thor and who is Iron man as they play on Lego Marvel superheroes on the Xbox.  Just wish they would get along and work together to save the world.

I’ve been looking back through my blog which I started this time last week, I’ve seen it grow and attract some followers throughout the week and I find that crazy.  Its hard to image that people find what I have to say, interesting enough to spend a couple of minutes reading.  For this, I give my thanks.

I’ve posted a couple of short stories where I have had a slight spark of an idea and just ran with it, not worrying what I typed.  This was a fun little exercise.  The stories, I posted as ‘Remember me’ and ‘The quiet room’.  Check them out if you’ve nothing better to do.

I also wrote a couple of silly little poems.  I don’t think I’ve written a poem since school so this was weird.  They might not be any good but who cares, I enjoyed the process.  Check these out too.  They are called ‘Society today’, ‘I’m human too’ and ‘My one true love’.

Anyway I wrote quite a lot on my novel attempt last night, but as I was doing so, I was enjoying a nice bottle of red wine.  I re-read this morning what I wrote and it started off really good if I do say so myself, before taking a sharp turn and heading off in a completely obscure direction.  Probably best not to write under the influence.  I’m going to keep the strange twist in though.  I enjoy discovery writing and watching the characters grow as the story develops.  Dunno if this is the ideal way to write, but it feels good.

I think blogging as I’m writing is helping me to keep going.  I usually have a bright idea and give up before I even get going, but so far, this is going well.  Let’s just hope I can keep it up.

I hope you keep reading and keep me motivated as I am enjoying this new me.

Thanks a bunch

D.

My one true love

You make my heart feel so brand new,
You’re the light that makes shine.
I know for sure that I need you,
and the best thing is you’re mine.

We’ve had our ups and downs for sure,
But that’s just called real life.
When I am down you are the cure,
And I hope you’ll be my wife.

No matter what, the times we’ve had
I’ll treasure till I die.
You make me laugh, you make me mad
Just never say goodbye.

We fit together body and soul,
Read this, I swear it’s true.
You are my life’s one true goal
Just remember I love you.

Society today

This is the way we live today,
we eat, we sleep, we rest, we play.
No longer do we need to hunt or fish,
just sit at home and dream and wish.
We want it now, we demand it expect.
Why work hard or show respect?
We can have it now, have it for free,
So why change our wanton philosophy?

Have we lost the skills passed down to us?
We get what we deserve and don’t make a fuss.
The ethic we’re taught that nothing comes free,
you flout in our face for all to see.
Yes this frustrates, angers us who work hard,
but our families we love hold us in highest regard.

loved ones regard means nothing to me.
Who needs family when money is free?
I get what I want so why earn my way,
When I can sit at home in bliss all day.
The immigrants come, take the work and rule
So what’s the point? I sit back tell me who is the fool?

So you call me a fool because I contribute?
That I pay my way is not in dispute.
You say they come over here taking our jobs,
When was the last time you worked you idle bigoted slobs?
So why not improve your life? I don’t understand
Instead of waiting for dole outs to land in your hand.

I guess we are just two different breeds
And that’s just fine.
You will always go your way and I will go mine.

image

So this was just a silly short poem idea about two people arguing. One feels hard done to because they see the other person as lazy and scrounging money for nothing.

Another pointless blog post

So again I’ve got nothing much to talk about so I’m just going to keep typing and see what happens.

All of this blogging and trying to set up an alter ego writing social media profile is distracting me from what I wanted to do in the first place…. WRITING.  I need to set limits on the times I can update my blogs, twitter and Google+ as I dont have much free writing time with a full time job and a full time, hectic family life.

I’m lucky that I work shifts so that sometimes (like today) I get days off midweek when the kids are at school and my partner is working.  This is my free, creative time to write.  So far today my word count on my book project is……. 0 words.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a busy morning.  It’s currently 12pm and my day so far has been –

  • Wake up at 7:30 am and sort out the kids as my partner was working early.
  • After feeding and watering them, making sure they are dressed properly and that teeth are brushed etc. Its off out the door at 8:30 am for the walk to school. (except this is the time my 4 year old decided tat he needed a poo).  10 minutes later, we are rushing to school.
  • As soon as they are dropped off, I set off on a 10 km run.  I try to run and keep fit as much as possible as I’m inherently lazy and must push myself to do things otherwise I would just sit on my arse all day watching mind-numbing TV on my days off.
  • After my run, I stopped off at the gym for half an hour of weights.
  • Arrived back home at 11:00 am.  Since this time, I have had a quick shower, turned my laptop on and been reading emails, twitter and here.  Oh and I set up a Google+ account.  That got a bit addictive.

I know that I would get more done if I didn’t go for my run, but its part of my routine for getting into the mindset.  It clears my mind from the stresses of work problems and daily life and frees me up to write whatever comes into my head.

Anyway, it’s lunchtime now so I’m really going to have to knuckle down after and get as much done as I can before the afternoon rush starts all over again.

Wish me luck

D.

Remember me

Remember me

Albert was smiling, he felt young again.  He could feel the butterflies in his stomach frantically fluttering.  The nervous excitement bubbling inside him.  Was it possible to feel this much love for someone even after sixty three years?

Sixty three glorious and happy years with the love of his life.  Mary was the jigsaw piece which slotted perfectly into his soul.  Without her, he wouldn’t be complete.  Together they had protected and nurtured their three children and watched them grow into content and well adjusted adults.  What else was there? That is all a parent can ask for.

Albert fussed with his tie, straightening it and brushing some dust from the left sleeve of his favourite royal blue suit.  Would she think he was still handsome?  Albert hoped so.  He hoped so much these days, it was all he had.  He smiled, sad and forlorn.  Remembering that Mary used to do his tie for him, her alluring smile as she worked the knot.  Irresistible.

As he was gazing at himself in the full length mirror, Albert noticed that he had become soft around the middle.  He had never been fat but now, no matter what he did, he was slowly losing the fight.  He still looked sharp in a suit though.  Mary always said that he was the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on.  Albert knew that she was a flatterer, but he loved her dearly for it.  He might have been old but there was no excuse, you must always present your best was his motto.  He was just trying to get what hair he had left to sit evenly on his head when he heard the crunching of the gravel on the driveway just below his window.

Albert went downstairs and met his youngest daughter Helen in the front doorway.

“Ready dad?” She smiled then moved forward and embraced him.   Her deep auburn hair tickling his face as she kissed his cheek.

Helen helped him into his jacket.  She held both of his hands and gazed deeply into his eyes.  She looked sad but she was putting on a strong front and hiding it well.  Albert knew his baby girl better than anyone and his heart warmed to think that she was being brave for him.

“Come on then, we don’t want to keep mum waiting” she chirped and together they stepped out into the crisp morning air.

As Helen was locking the front door, Albert breathed in deeply.  He loved winter.  The freshness of everything, the clean, cold air and the way the old snow crunched as his shoes broke the crust on top, reaching the powdery whiteness beneath.

Today will be different I can feel it in the air, he thought.

The short journey was made in silence.  They had made it together many times.  The excitement and anticipation within Albert never waning although he always showed his stoic face to the world.  Deep inside, he held on to the belief that this visit would be the one.

Helen turned the car and they passed through the imposing gates.  Two, ever watchful granite Eagles perched on top, their unmoving stone eyes seeming to follow Albert as the passed the threshold.  Albert remembered this place during the war.  It used to be owned by the Hunter-Wright family but had been commandeered by the government and turned into an aftercare facility for wounded soldiers.  He had visited Jack here, he had met Mary here.  The first time he saw her, he lost himself in her eyes.  The alluring glint with a hint of mischief.  He knew then that he would never love another woman.

So many memories. It was as if the beautifully tended gardens and the imposing sandstone blocks held it all within, releasing them to wash over Albert like a wave lapping a sandy beach.  He would be flooded with vivid, clear memories only to have the wave recede, pulling some of the sand back into the depths, losing tiny aspects of the thought each time.  Colours, names, faces.  Was she wearing a red dress on our engagement or was it blue?  Which leg had Jack lost? Even the face of his best friend seemed to be fading, evaporating like smoke.  Lost to the ages.

“Here we are.  Ready dad?”  Helen questioned, snapping Albert out of his thoughts.

“I am dear” he smiled warmly back at her.

Helen helped Albert out of the car, she held his hand as they walked up to the grand entrance.  The old thick, studded oak doors gone now to be replaced by a modern, automatic opening glass monstrosity which sat on the face of the building like a prosthetic jaw.  Opening and closing, devouring all who enter.

Inside, they had tried to keep most of the old features, only instead of smelling like varnished wood and cigars, the place smelled artificial and clinical.  The quiet of this grand atrium was almost serene, only broken by the vague, muffled shout or someone crying out from one of the rooms beyond.

“Ah Mr Bailey, lovely to see you.  Can I take your jacket?”  A plump, red faced young care assistant smiled warmly as she held out her hands.

Albert quietly shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to the woman.

“She’s waiting for you in the conservatory” the girl announced over her shoulder as she hurried off to chat to the young, chiselled man stood at the reception desk.

Helen linked her arm through her dads and together they walked up the sweeping staircase towards the back of the building and the conservatory which looked out over the gardens and the lake.  Albert’s pace quickened slightly and Helen looked up at him.

“Please don’t get your hopes up dad.  Remember I’m here for you too”.

This saddened Albert, he loved his children unconditionally but his Mary meant so much to him, he couldn’t express it consciously.  They were soulmates, they knew every intimate detail about each other but she had been taken from him.  This last thought always angered Albert although he knew that he couldn’t cope any longer looking after her at home.  The violent outburst had become more frequent, the wandering, it was all too much.  He would never admit that of course, he had always been too proud, but he missed her.  He missed her so much, it physically pained him.  At night, when he was alone, he allowed himself to cry.  Part of him was missing.  Part of him which he wanted back and he wouldn’t rest until he was whole again.

They approached the conservatory and Helen let go of Albert’s arm, she stopped and waited in the doorway.  The morning sunlight glinting off of the glass ornaments on the wicker table ahead of him was sending beautiful prisms of rainbow light dancing away from him as he stepped slowly inside.  He was hesitating, please god, let this time be different he thought as he unwittingly rubbed the red scratch on his forearm from the last visit.

Albert couldn’t see Mary.  She was sat in a high backed, winged armchair facing the snow covered gardens outside.  It was her favourite place where she would relax in private contemplation in her own, unremembered world.  Sitting for hours showing no emotion beyond her minds prison.

Albert could see her left arm sitting palm up on the arm rest of the chair.  The palm, caught in the brilliant winter sunlight had something sparkling held in it.  Albert’s heart fluttered and skipped a beat.  It was the emerald engagement ring he had bought so long ago, the ring which had cost him so much more than he could afford back then.  The ring which had made Mary’s enchanting features light up as he got down on one knee.  The ring which had sat on her finger, year after year matching the deep green of her eyes.  He allowed himself to hope.

Albert breathed deeply and put his hand on the back of the chair.  This was going to be the time it happened.  He knew it.

Remember me.

D.